Marriage books might not be at the top of your to-do list. However, being engaged is such a fun and memorable time during your life. For what seems like a blink of an eye, you’re a fiance, then one second you’re a wife! Although it might seem like not much will change, trust me when I say… it will. And even though it changes for the best, I truly believe that taking the time to prepare will make all of the difference—the first out of two marriage books I recommend to anyone and everyone regardless of marital status. Whether you are already married, dating, or not even interested in finding someone, it will really help you understand and improve your relationship with the people around you.
Marriage Book #1
The 5 Love Languages: The secret to love that lasts
You have probably heard about the 5 love languages before, but this book goes more in-depth about the different ways people feel loved. I’m recommending the one for couples, but I checked out their website, and now they have different versions for singles, men, military, children, teens, and even workspace.
The 5 love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Everyone has at least ONE that makes them feel the most loved, so knowing which one your future spouse identifies with will really help you love them the way they love to be loved.
It is very common for us to do things we like without thinking about what the other person might like. For example, my love language is acts of service. So when someone, like my husband, does something for me like bringing me coffee or folding and putting away the clean towels, oh man! I feel SO LOVED! But my husband’s love language is physical touch. So what do I do? I hold his hand when he’s driving, hug him before he leaves to work, or let him play with my hair (which I also enjoy), and according to him, he absolutely loves it and feels loved.
Marriage Book #2
The second marriage book I recommend is for couples who plan on having kids or building a family together. There’s also a non-parent version available. It’s no secret that my husband and I hit a rough patch after having our son, but I honestly do not know if we’d be where we are today without this marriage book. The first few chapters might not apply to everyone, but don’t skip through them! It talks about infidelity, and before you go clicking off, it also talks about how couples get to that point and how to a) prevent it and b) repair it. So even though infidelity isn’t an issue in your relationship, it’s interesting to learn and understand how someone got to that point. Similar to the Love Languages, he talks about Love Deposits. But, even more importantly, he shares how to keep the romance alive after having kids. I promise you marriage isn’t hard, but once kids enter the picture… everything changes!
I’m not a professional marriage counselor, but based on my experience, I recommend both people in a relationship reading His Needs, Her Needs together. My husband and I decided to listen to the audiobook, and that worked great. We both knew exactly what we were talking about. The 5 Love Languages book, even though it would be ideal for both parties to read it, I think as long as one person reads it and explains it to the other (and take the quiz), you should be good.
It is also important not to read into things in either of the books. For example, many reviews say the authors recommend staying in an abusive relationship or that the wife should be at home cooking, etc. That’s not what they mean! They’re different scenarios, and keep in mind that it (5 Love Languages) is an older book.
I have raved about the second book to ALL of my friends and now my Gems (you!), but I’d love to know: What are some marriage books that you love? Have you found one to be a game-changer? Let me know!
If you’re looking to update your family pictures or even celebrate an anniversary, let’s chat!